Tuesday, March 31, 2009
If it did not happen today, then I would only be able to get the bloodwork portion of the test done. It has to be done before 14 weeks, and I will be 14 weeks on Thursday. So, needless to say, I was so happy that the baby was in a good position this time.
The tech scanned for a while, trying to get just the right shot. She was able to take measurements and the baby measured a perfect 13w5d. :) She was also able to get the NT measurement of 1.7. From everything that I have read, anything under 2.0 is considered good. She was also able to see the nasal bone, which is a good thing (In general, a down's baby does not have a prominent nasal bone). So, they took my blood and I guess I will get the results when I go back in 2 weeks.
I also had my 1 hour glucose test. Yummy. It actually was not too bad, really just tasted like super sweet orange soda - it was cold, so that made it easier to drink. I had to fast for 4 hours before the test, and they were running behind. So, by the time I did the test at around 3:30, I had not eaten since 9AM. I was actually starting to get the shakes. So, I am sure my numbers are going to be crappy. I have a history of very low blood sugar, I hope that is not the case again.
I did gain back 2 of the 5 pounds that I lost last time. So, as of right now, I am still -3 pounds.
So, there is my appointment update :)
Monday, March 30, 2009
I took her out to lunch yesterday. She asked how I was feeling, I told her that the past few days have been rough, still getting sick, etc. She replied, "well, why haven't you called the doctor?!?!?!" Yeah, ok, Mom - I must be the only one that has ever not felt well during pregnancy. I was not like I was throwing up 10 times a day, running a fever, passing out, etc. just normal pregnancy stuff. Why would I call the doc because I am having normal pregnancy stuff. Could you imagine the doc if I called.
Me: Um, hello., Yes - I have not been feeling well. Been throwing up 1-2 times a day.
Doc: Um, yeah - AND????
Besides, I am seeing the doc again tomorrow, so any concerns would be addressed then.
She also thinks that there has never been another mom in the world that had to juggle a toddler while being pregnant. Everything thing I did yesterday, or every part of a conversation, she would say this or that. I was talking about naps, and she actually YELLED at me that I should be taking a nap each and every day. yeah - ok Mom. Oh, and um, didn't you have 3 kids under 3 years old at one point.
We went to the mall and Lil J was by my mom, I was about 15 feet away. Lil J looked around and realized that I was not right there. Yeah, he totally freaked out!!!! He saw me and ran into my arms. Of course I picked him up right away. He had the look of sheer terror in his face. She tells me that I should not have picked him up, but rather just said, "it is OK, mom is right here" Whatever. It is not like I am doing toddler weight lifting throughout the day. And, I have limited the amount of time I do pick him up. I either make him climb up on the couch where I give him lots of hugs and kisses, or I go down to the floor. In that situation, he needed to be picked up.
Again, I knows she wants the best for me, but come on.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
This process can take a long time, about 2+ years.
To date, mom has not been working her plan at all. Part of her plan includes visits. So, she has not seen Lil J in about a month (another family had him before me).
Anyway, his case worker called me yesterday and asked if I can make a call to the mom (blocked number of course), because she will be "unavailable" for a period of 28 days to 3 months.
Since it is in our "contract" that we will support reunification, I knew I would have to make the call.
We did just that, he talked to her like he would talk to anyone else, not really getting the idea that it was mom on the phone. After they chatted, she spoke to me for a minute or two. What she said really got to me.
She thanked me for taking care of her son, that she would pray for me everyday, that I am an angel that she will never forget, she misses and loves Lil J very much, etc. I wished her the best of luck and we hung up.
I got off the phone and cried and cried. I know that there is always a possibilities of kids going back, and I know that there the possibility that they will not. I knew I would love him no matter what.
But in 2 weeks, I have grown so attached to him. I love him like he is my own - and I know it will be devestating if he goes back to mom.
I have always said that I will never fault a mom for working her plan and gettting her child back, and that I am here to love and care for any child that comes into my care.
They want us to love these kids, make them feel like part of the family. We have done just that. But, boy does it hurt to know that he could go back.
+++++++ I just want to add that I KNOW if he goes back to mom, it is the best thing for him. But, it still hurts just thinking about it++++++++
Friday, March 27, 2009
My cousin was so kind to point that out to me this morning. I did not even think about it until she said something. I guess mainly because I never thought of the fact that Colin will not have the same father as the baby coming in the fall. In my mind, Frank is Colin's dad. He is the only dad he really knows.
Yes, Colin sees his father a few times a year. But does that really make him a dad - um, I think not.
So, my life is now a Jerry Springer show. Oh, well - would not change a thing.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I was really nervous about it, not really because of the measurements, but I was hoping there was still a heartbeat. So - heartbeat was great! 167 beats per minute - yay.
But, the baby did not cooperate at all, so there was no measurements taken - well, none as far as the NT Scan goes.
The baby is measuring just fine, and looks like your typical alien baby lol. I guess I should get myself a ticker :)
Here are the interesting things.
During the u/s, the tech kept asking me if I had any bleeding in the beginning of this pregnancy. I did - A LOT. I told her my RE could not find the source of the bleeding, and when it was.
Honestly, I did not think much about this conversation.
So, after the scan I meet with the doctor. She was able to tell me the source of the bleeding.....um, A TWIN!
It only grew to about 6w3d and was implanted very very high in my uterus. She said that it had collapsed on it self and may or may not reabsorb. She does not think it will be a problem with the rest of the pregnancy. Holy Moly - I never got twins with IF treatments, get pregnant on my own and had twins.
It was kinda weird knowing that. How the RE did not see that??? I have no idea. I had my first scan at 5W6D, and even another at 6W3D, and he did not see it. Kinda weird.
Another interesting thing - I cracked a rib by throwing up. I have been getting sick a lot - about 3 times a day. Yesterday, all of a sudden, I had this intense pain in my side. Really hurts to take a deep breathe, hurts to cough, etc. Doc said she can take x-rays (duh), but it pretty sure that I cracked a rib.
Yet another - all of the throwing up has made me loose 5 pounds in 2.5 weeks.
I have to go back next week to try the scan again.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Between getting what I wanted for my car, getting the price of the car lowered, and then the financing - well, it took FOREVER.
The damage is minor, a huge scratch from the hood to the trunk, and the hubcaps are broken. Because of this damage, the front fender was pushed in a little and the front passenger door does not open. All things will be fixed before we pick it up.
I am not thrilled with the color, even tried to get that worked in the deal, especially since they had to do body work anyway, that was a NO.
So, unless someone wants to give me the gift of a paint job (yeah right), I will just have to get used to the white. Like the sales guy said, you can't tell what color it is when you are driving it. It is not horrible, just not something I would ever pick. I also am not thrilled with the black stripe, but we did get a pretty good price, and they will pay off my current car - so I guess I will deal with it.
I looked a few used vans, and I liked this one the best because of the way the 2nd row was. It is a bench, but it is not centered so it is very easy to get to the 3rd row. I really thought I wanted captains chairs for the second row, but once I tried it out, I hated it. For me, the bench second seating will work the best for me. Again, nothing fancy - no dvd, no auto doors, etc - but I did not want those things anyway.
Here is a pic - not of the actual car, just a photo I found on-line.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Question: I was curious if Little J was a placement that you are fostering for a while- or if he is a foster that will end up in adoption- or if that part is up in the air, etc?
Answer: Well, we were licensed for foster care, fost/adopt, and straight aoption. There are slight differences in each one. Of course we would love a long term (forever) placement, but we wanted kids in the house so we were willing to take other placements than straight adopt. In NJ, according to statistics, about 60% of foster kids DO NOT go back. So, we knew that we would have a good shot of getting a forever kid.
As for our placement - without giving too many details, he will probably be here for a while, if not forever. He was removed and placed in another home. That home was just not a good placement for him (2 kids the same age that did not get along). The mom is in a bad situation right now and has a lot of BIG things in her plan.
Here is a brief description of all options
- Goal is ALWAYS reunification with parents - unless those parents committed a crime against that child. In that case, it is would probably be fost / adopt
- A parent has 12-15 months to work their plan that is ordered by a judge (rehab, get a job, get an apartment, take parenting classes, etc) If after that time, a judge determines if the child should be returned to a parent (sometimes it is earlier than the 12-15 mths). If the child can not be returned, then the judge declares that parental rights should be terminated and the current foster parents have "first dibbs" to adopt the child. After this time, it is about another 6 months before rights are terminated and then another 6 months for the adoption to be final. This means that a child can be in our home for about 2 years before adoption is final. :(
- A parent has the right at anytime to decide to term her own rights - then the timeline is quicker
Fost / Adopt
- Basically the same as foster care - but usually someone determine that the child has lower legal risk than other placements. It may not be the first time in care, the mom may have had other kids taken away, the mom might have gone missing, the mom might be in jail for a serious crime, there may have been a crime against the child, etci
- f a child had been removed before and then returned to a parent, well - that time still counts toward the 12-15 months. So, if there is very little time left of the that time, a child might be considered fost/adopt
- Just because a worker (or a judge) THINKS that there is little risk of a child being returned to a parent, the parent still has the right to work the plan. So, even though everyone thought it would move toward adoption, there is no guarantee. Even on crimes against the child - family might step up.
- There are children that are available for straight adoption - these are the kids that have already gone through the above.
- Why aren't their foster parents adopting them then? Well, there could be so many reasons. Foster parents may be older and can not make a lifetime commitment. Foster parents may only want to foster to prepare for adoption. And sadly, some people just do it for the money. Only certain children qualify for a stipend after adoption. But will continue to receive the foster care stipend until adoption by another family.
- Since these kids have gone through the above, most of these kids are older.
So, those are the descriptions. I am a very open person and love to educate people on topics that I know a lot about. So, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. The only thing that I can not talk about are the things specific to the case (why he was removed, mom's plan, etc)
Now, while I hope he stays forever, I know that there is a possiblity that he will not. Now, while it will be devestating, it really will not change the way I treat him or love him while he is here.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I have my next appointment on Tuesday and I will getting the NT scan at that time, which reminds me, I have to call to make sure it is covered.
I have been feeling really well, and having a 3 yr old in the house really makes you forget every little "symptom".
I am praying for a good outcome at the NT scan, especially since I have a history of chormosome problems in pregnancies.
So, 12 weeks is a milestone that I am so glad I hit! Maybe I will even add a ticker one of these days.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
My life has changed so much in 15 years, I just can't believe how fast that has gone.
Colin is now a teenager, I married the love of my life, I now have a little guy in the house, and I am now pregnant again. Even though there have been a lot of unexpected paths in my life, I really would not change a bit of it.
On another note, Little J is settling in just fine. He met the whole family over the weekend and everyone was just as smitten as us. I really can't say anything about his case, but - he might be here for a while. Even if he is not, I will love him with all my heart - no matter what, for as long as he is here.
Friday, March 13, 2009
He is well behaved too. We only had an issue when we had to leave the park. But, what 3 yr old really wants to leave the park :)
Yesterday was our first full day, and I am trying to figure out a routine. I know we will get it real soon. I really want him to take a nap and I have been successful for the 2 days that he has been here, so I hope that trend sticks around.
Yesterday and today both naps were in the afternoon, so I am going to plan my day around those naps. It was neat, today we actually ventured out! We went to Target and Babies R Us to get some things that we did not realize that we needed. Oh, and a new gate so the pregnant lady does not fall down the stairs while trying to climb over said gate LOL.
But, it was just things like sippy cups, the juice that he likes, kids meds (just in case), kids toothpaste, a binder to keep all his stuff organized, tub toys, etc.
It was cute, I was thinking about getting a cheap umbrella type stroller. I was not sure if a 3 yr old was still in a stroller, but figured that an umbrella stroller is cheap enough that even if we never use it, it would be no big deal.
So, we are in BRU and all of a sudden he says, "that my stroller", lucky for me it was a $20 umbrella stroller. So, I bought it. Of course I had to do the rest of my shopping with him in the stroller and me pushing both the stroller and pulling the cart. Good times.
We are also going to need a new carseat - well, two - one for each car. We had one carseat, but when we installed it, we realized that it only goes upto 40 pounds. Lil J is about 34 pounds, so I guess I should start shopping around. Kind of annoying because I thought the one we had went up to 65 pounds. No big deal though.
So, that is the update. I hope to have time to keep this blog updated, 3 yr olds are a lot of work! (but I love every second of it :)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I am on a message board and the current foster mom contacted to to see if we would be interested in taking this placement.
The more information that we got, the more we thought we wanted to accept the placement. I got lots of info from the foster mom and then even more from the case worker this morning.
I was confident based on all the info that this would be a good placement for us. I spoke to the case worker and told her that we would LOVE to have this little boy in our home. I then e-mailed the current FM and she was able to give me so much info about this little boy. She then invited me over for a visit.
I thought this would be a great idea so that I am not a stranger. His birthday was just last month, so I decided to buy him a little gift. I went there and spent about 2 hours playing with this little boy. He is so very smart, and so very very sweet.
After the visit, I just KNEW that we had made the right decision when we accepted the placement. I know he will be a great addition to our family.
Since this is a foster placement which may or may not lead to adoption, I can not publically display any pics or any provide any detailed information.
So, for the purpose of this blog, he will be called "Little J". There is paperwork that has to be done, but he could be placed with us as early as tomorrow!!!!
We are on cloud nine!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
It was a LONG appointment. I was there for 2 hours. And to be totally honest, 35 minutes was while I was in a room waiting for a doc to come in. Seriously, I hate this. If you are not ready for me, don't call me back. This is a huge pet peeve of mine at any doctors. But, especially since Frank was on his lunch hour. He left after all the "interview" stuff, like medical history, and Q&A. To me that was the most important part for him to be there. So, I sent him on his was right before the physical exam.
It went as fine as first OB appointment go. Not reassuring AT ALL. No doppler, no u/s. So, I will not know until my next appointment if I still have a viable pregnancy. Totally do NOT like that. But, this is the norm. I am sure I could insist on a scan, but my insurance will not pay for it. I guess I will just have to hope (and pray of course) that everything is fine.
I asked the questions that I wanted to ask and I really liked the doctor from today. It is a large practice (6 docs) and you have to see all docs. So, next visit will be with someone else. No worries here, I like seeing lots of docs.
The doc seemed very compassionate about my history and told me if I ever have questions or concerns that I could call any time. I really like this - makes me feel like my concerns are taken seriously.
For those that are wondering about the progesterone. I told her the dose that I am on (right now I am on the prescribed amount) and she asked how long I will take it. I said I wanted to take it as long as possible and she said, "how about 12ish weeks?" I am OK with this answer for now, maybe I will bring it up again at my next appointment.
My next appointment is at 12W5D at which time they will do the NT Scan. I know my insurance will not pay for it since I asked them about it last year. They will only do so if there is a medical need. The doc office said it is considered standard routine care and have never had issues with my insurance company. I am still going to call the billing dept to be 100% sure. I know for a FACT that I will be able to get approval for the testing because of my age and m/c history. So, I am not too worried, just would rather not have to deal with after the fact.
Even though my last u/s measured me 2 days behind (no big deal), we are still using our original due date of Oct 1st; this makes me 10 weeks today!
I totally got used to the idea of a scan a week. But, at least I get on in 2.5 weeks. Not too far away.
She did say that because of my D&C history and the fact that it is recent history, they will have to monitor my cervical length closely. I will have another scan at 16 weeks just to check the cervix out - oh and I am sure I might be able to get another peek of the baby :)
Also, since I have a family history of diabetes, and my history of low blood sugar, I will have my sugar levels tested at 16 weeks and then again later in pregnancy.
So, that was about it - or at lease what I can remember :)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
We already got a call last week (we did not take it), so I knew it was just a matter of time before we got the word that we had an official license.
I am shaking I am so damn excited!
Just wanted to share :)
Just in case anyone is wondering, the placement call from last week was for a 14 year old boy. Our age range is 0-5. Plus, we have a 14 yr old boy already. But, as it turns out, Frank knows someone at work that is a licensed resource parent that WANTS high school boys. We told our worker about her and they might get him. Win win all around.
Now, we wait for our turn. I am so excited!